Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
