You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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