Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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