I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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