You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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