Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
stop calling my apartment porn island.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
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HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize