This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
