Moan for me like Helen Keller
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
COCAINE IS GR8
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize