Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
