Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
