I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
