guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
