girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
