The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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