you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
