10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
