"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I would fuck him just for his dog
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