Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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