he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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