Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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