where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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