I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
