She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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