My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
