you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
