the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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