You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize