the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
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She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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