dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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