So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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