..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you inspire me to be a worse person
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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