i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
