My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
