Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
