I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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