i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize