im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
