as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
