We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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