When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
