The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
