did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
