He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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