I wish I only lived at night.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
