She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize