How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
