i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
