at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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