by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
