The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize