we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
