He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Fuck appropriateness.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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