Well apparently he's into motor boating.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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