he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
