after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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