p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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