Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
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..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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