4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
