Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
