Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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