Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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