Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
