He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
