I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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