you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
