is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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