fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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