What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
