garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize